December 21st, 2010

My wonderful Meg kitty.

Seattle and stuff!

So, I went to Seattle this weekend!

I got on the bus and there were mutterings of a power failure at Bay Fair (a few stops up the line)

While I considered an alternate route to SFO, the driver announced that his train was the first one going through. I got on and everything was pretty much good. Until we got to Bay Fair.

Ever heard of <insert stereotype here> BINGO? You put a trait down on each square of a BINGO board. When you see someone who matches that trait, you put a marker down on it.

There was a guy three people away from me who was an instant win in every possible dimension of Northern California BINGO. He was wearing a North Face fleece, carrying a free-trade Peet's coffee cup, had an iPhone, talked about how "we" were winning because DADT was repealed, and asked the girl he was trying to impress "Do you have a Mac-friendly environment at work?"

I cannot tell you the amounts of hatred I had for that man. That chick was pretty much just as bad.

Anyway -- back to my story -- there were throngs of people waiting on the platform at Bay Fair, hungry for their chance to get on the train. As the doors opened, they streamed inwards, pressurizing the train's contents to Japanese Subway levels. As the push continued, someone yelled "Stop pushing! I have a baby!"

As I wondered what that had to do with anything, someone else yelled "Stop pushing! It's full of babies!"

(My God, it's full of babies!)

Anyway, the screaming continued. Probably not because people were pushing, but because people tend to be inertial in their actions. And then an idea sprung upon me! So I started singing "Weeeeeee wish you a Merry Christmas, weeeee wish you a Merry Christmas..."

The effect was magic. The people around me started singing. Very soon thereafter, the people doing the screaming had been won over.

Not long thereafter, we got to the next station. Another mob approached the car, but as the door opened, and the strains of two hundred people singing Christmas carols at the top of their lungs assaulted them, they stopped dead in their tracks.

No one got on for quite a few stops...

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