CERisE's Testing for L

http://www.cafeshops.com/cp/prod.aspx?p=ghastly_bjbib.3380595

Every kid must have one!!!

It's a great idea. I've always loved nursery rhymes and children's songs which are really
pretty and turn out to be about the Black Plague or killing a bluebird and so on.

This led to a discussion twixt Athena and I about double-ended dildos instead of baseball bats.

Some useful blackmail^Wquotes:


(08:34:13) Athena: That is a terrible gift
(08:34:26) CERisEDownstairs: gift?
(08:34:28) Athena: Who would purchase such a bastard product?
(08:34:32) CERisEDownstairs: hehehe
(08:34:39) CERisEDownstairs: I want one for my kid =D
(08:35:10) Athena: You should get a vasectomy

(08:36:15) CERisEDownstairs: I love the idea of a kid toy that the kid doesn't get until around puberty or so
(08:36:29) CERisEDownstairs: Probably not such a bad idea to buy kids dildos for toys
(08:36:36) CERisEDownstairs: c'mon! It beats a baseball bat
(08:36:43) Athena: haha
(08:36:43) CERisEDownstairs: especially if you get one of the double ended rubber ones!
(08:37:04) Athena: "Here kids! Go have fun with your friends now!)

(08:37:59) CERisEDownstairs: C'mon. If your kid doesn't frighten the other parents in your neighborhood, you just aren't doing your job

Meanwhile Fizz and Athena are plotting against me:

(16:38:19) Cersqui: ayep, that's my boy's sense of humor all right.
(16:38:23) Cersqui: that's on the lighter end too.
(16:38:59) Athena: I can only imagine
(16:40:25) Cersqui: I don't recommend it

I'm reading more Ghastly and I open a drawer next to the computer (under the mouse pad) where my dad keeps a pad and pencils reflexively.

Fizz is leaning her head on my shoulder and our eyes lock on a box in it.

Specifically the words "SMOOTH PENETRATING"

and then the words "Chisel Point"

On the top of the box, it says "Monarch Standard Staples"

Part of me wants to open the box to make sure. The other part of me thinks it's best to let sleeping dogs and perverted minds lie.

I feel better that it wasn't just me, but Fizz too.

"What were those? Staples?"
"Yeah."
"Ow..."

So last night, the term "double-edged dildo" came up for obvious reasons.

NO NOT THOSE OBVIOUS REASONS! YOU DIRTY, DIRTY PEOPLE! DIRTY!!!!!

DIRTY, LITTLE SEWER MINDSESESESES!!!!

*ahem*

Anyway, it came up. So Fizz says "You know, I'm not sure that's the right wording..."

So I said "Would you prefer double sided? double ended?"

Then a stroke of genius occurred to me:

"Perhaps double sided, double density?"

(If you don't get it, go look up the history of 5.25" diskettes from 180k to 1.2M. You'll thank me for it later.)

This is what happens when you put your girlfriend's dad on IM while you're playing trivia at TGI Fridays.
-------------
(18:41:34) SparkyAndFizzDad: So I'm vaulting into the modern age -- I've got Katie on IM and now you too (if you're really there). Of course I don't have anything to say . . . no, wait, that's part of the modern age. (You think I'm quite there yet?)
(18:41:34) Cersqui <AUTO-REPLY> : out to dinner.

NOT LUNCH! HA! NOT LUNCH! HAHAHAHA! WE ARE NOT OUT TO LUNCH! NOT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(18:41:58) SparkyAndFizzDad: A likely story