Fashionable, but unable to tell fact from fiction (testing4l) wrote,
Fashionable, but unable to tell fact from fiction

Happy 5th of May

I've always loved this holiday because it celebrates French military stupidity.

Long story short, the Mexicans fell back to a town with two forts to the North. The Mexicans had 3/4s the army that the French did. The French general heard that the people of the town were loyal to the French, but they were kept in line by the Mexican troops in the town. He felt that if he made a show of force, then the people of the town would attack the forts as well and force the Mexicans to surrender or retreat as they'd have to deal with two opposing fronts of battle.

The people of the town weren't loyal to the French, so this French general ended up going for the point of greatest resistance. They ran out of artillery ammo on the first two attacks which were such spectacular failures that they had to march reserves on the third attack with no artillery support.

After that, they ran for it. The Mexican general arranged to flank their escape route taking out more French as they went. The French general waited around for a while at his previous position hoping that the Mexicans would try to push their advantage and make the same mistake he did -- attacking a point of strength without overwhelming forces.

They didn't, so the town of Puebla was left alone after that.

The other funny thing about the battle is it turned out to be pointless except as a morale boost for the Mexican army. By the next year, the French had captured Mexico City and formed the Second Mexican Empire under Maximillian.

Last year, I missed Cinco de Mayo and I realized that I should drink on the 4th just in case something came up on the 5th. As is a wonderful tradition among my friends, I began calling people at strange hours of the morning to have silly conversations.

Things I remember:
1) Having an epistemological argument with babe_of_beyazit's ex-boyfriend in which he attempted to fall back to a point of religious knowledge. When he realized that I knew a bit more than he gave me credit for, he attempted a Cartesian defense of the point. I think I accused his schizophrenic answers of being the obvious mark of a Kantian.
2) Calling forgotten_aria (I *almost* typed onetwolittleb). She was asleep but terribly amused being the recipient of her first ever drunk dial.
3) A lot of crazy voicemail messages.
4) Waking one of my friends up and getting a very angry response. I might be safe because I didn't get a chance to tell her who it was. *phew*

My phone's call history filled up, so I don't have a complete record of who I called and most of the stuff I said was off-the-cuff, so it wasn't particularly memorable. I do remember laughing and making a lot of other people laugh.

kalisphoenix said that it was the best voicemail message he's ever received.

Did I call you last night? Did I say something terribly amusing? Remind me and share in the joy of embarrassing me. ;)

EDIT: I'm adding things as I remember them.
I drunk dialed Ely. The only reason he ever calls me is to let me know that b is down, so I called him to let him know that b is still up. 8)
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