So apparently everyone missed this (even though I've told people this repeatedly):
The reason I'm in Poland is because meerkat (who I've been dating for a year now) is moving to Poland for 2 years. She got a job out here with an organization that's very similar to the U.N. I came with her to help her set up, find a place, and get into the swing of things. I'll be back in around two weeks and back to my job.
Subanswers to the obligatory ones that people ask:
1) No, she doesn't speak Polish.
1a) Neither am I.
2) No, she's not Polish.
2a) Neither am I.
3) No, she doesn't like the cold.
3a) I like visiting the cold and pretending to be Shackleton.
Until then, this is the first time I've ever been off the continent of North America, so it's a combination business and pleasure trip.