Fashionable, but unable to tell fact from fiction (testing4l) wrote,
Fashionable, but unable to tell fact from fiction

Delayed post from Friday...

So, they had a health fair at work today. Heart rate & blood pressure are way in the clear, cholesterol's a bit high -- no big surprise there. I'm in no danger of osteoporosis.

What was awesome was the body composition test. The exercise I get consists of driving a car without power steering and walking up and down 3 flights of stairs a day. Not a whole lot in the normal course of a day.

The way they test you is by attaching a couple of adhesive metal strips to you. One to your foot, one to your arm. They put electrodes on both sides of the strips and tell you to lay still for a moment.

Me being me, I can't really be still for a moment, so I make a couple jokes in the process. Things like "Wow, I never knew there were footprints on the ceiling" which people inevitably fell for.

Anyway, I get up and the guy hands me a print out. He looks at it a moment and his eyes bug out a bit as he exclaims, "Wow! Nice!" As it happens, it measured 9.5%

I went back upstairs to my team's area. One of my cow-orkers (V~) talks a lot about how often he rides his bicycle. At one point, he was cajoling another cow-orker and me to go to the gym with him. It didn't really happen.

So I ask V~ what his percentage was and he says he measured 20% and that, apparently, the guy gave him a stern talk about cutting down the amount of fat in his diet.

I mention mine and he goes crazy. He yanks the paper out of my hand and stares in utter disbelief at it. This ended up getting a good laugh from everyone else on my team. While he's complaining about how the machine's gotta be messed up, I'm flexing in the background.

One interesting bit -- Michael Phelps apparently measures around 6%. All those Olympic swimmers are lucky that I'm hydrophobic! ; )

Other happenings: Talking to a guy who was trying to get me to sign up for a rideshare service -- I declined. While we were yammering, this girl walks by and he proffers a clipboard and says "Last chance to sign up!", so I called him on that:

"You aren't really going to deny her if she wants to sign up later, now are you?"
"Well -- no, probably not. Ok -- fine. You get five more chances."
"No, man -- you're doing this all wrong. Here, watch."

So I walk up to the girl and say:

"Excuse me, does your car have cupholders?"
"But they're probably the really small kind, right? Like, you can't fit a giant mug of coffee in there, am I right?"
"See! My point exactly! What you need is a passenger. You're driving them around, so they owe you, right? Make *them* carry your cup. Bam! Instant cupholder."

She laughed at that and then said "Oh, all right!" and signed up. The guy gave me some pens and said I was wasting a promising sales career on programming. 8)

There was more silliness to be had -- I had my usual histrionics at the door prize bit, I told someone "Don't laugh" when they had to sit very still for a moment, and so on. But that's as much as I have stomach to write up at this moment.
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