(I appear in the following transcripts as "root" for reasons too long to go into)
<@root_> Say...this is kinda weird
<@root_> but I'm not sure you ever paid me back for your processor 8)
<+philblamefool> no, i haven't. i haven't had any money.
<@root_> Ah! 8)
<+philblamefool> but next month is triple paycheck month. so i'll actually have money.
<@root_> Ok. That's no problem 8) I was just trying to remember if you had or not 8)
<+philblamefool> no, of course not. you'd remember my most definitely not sly attempts to slip you money
without anyone seeing.
<@root_> Yes, it's true. My MONEYDAR is quite strong.
<@root_> I can spot a clever scheme to give me money from a mile away
<@root_> Maybe more. Hard to say.
<+philblamefool> that sort of thing really doesn't occur with enough frequency to do a statistical analysis.
<@root_> You'd be surprised. Ever wonder where that change you left on your dresser went? Little gnomes
grab it and give it to unsuspecting strangers.
<+philblamefool> they must be forgetting about me. i have mounds of random change all over the place. it
just keeps building.
<+philblamefool> i can't pick something up without change falling all over the floor.
<@root_> No, no. You're just a breeding ground like me. See, there's a myth perpetuated by the government
that they manufacture money in places called "mints"
<@root_> The truth is that it's decentralized. Money breeds with itself. The gnomes act like bees and
<+philblamefool> i'm a government conspiracy?
<@root_> That's why US money has changed so much in recent years. It's starting to absorb genes from
<+philblamefool> that...is the most awesome thing i've heard all day
<@root_> We all are. We're part of their plot to avoid international embarrassment.
<+philblamefool> i think they're failing.
<@root_> (I thought so too which is why I'm formulating a post about it right now)
<+philblamefool> i guess money is not unlike rabbits
<+philblamefool> or rats
<@root_> Not at all. Money's a plant. It really DOES grow on trees.
<+philblamefool> just as long as i don't find metal shavings all over my floor, i'll be fine
<@root_> You ever wonder why diamonds are so valuable? It's because they're proto-quarters!
<@root_> Put them in a breeding ground with a bunch of coins and all of a sudden *bam*, you've got money
Formulating an actual post is delayed. See, I originally poked kalisphoenix in the hopes of getting him to write a short story, and here's what happened
<@root_> You there! Writing man!
<+kalisphoenix> Oh dear.
<@root_> I knew I'd get that reaction from you. It's just what I needed.
<@root_> Feel like you need a story idea? I've got a real doozy 8)
<root_> (You've suggested programs to me, so it seems only fair to reciprocate, you see)
<kalisphoenix> Sure, but by submitting it you are hereby relinquishing all claim to the idea and
derivatives thereof, etc etc.
<root_> Yeah, yeah, I know.
<root_> I'd write it myself, but I'm severely out of practice for writing anything other than science fiction
<kalisphoenix> Do it.
<kalisphoenix> You're always encouraging me to program, dammit, so I'm going to bug the shit out of you
<root_> hehe. But then I'd be using my higher brain functions!
<kalisphoenix> Go to http://forums.thedouglasfamily.org/ , sign up, and say you want to be part of the
<kalisphoenix> A story (or something) per week all summer.
<kalisphoenix> With a pizza party you could, uh, fly out for. Or something.
<kalisphoenix> Or get yer significant other to do it.
<kalisphoenix> Or both.
And so, I have no choice. I have to get my write on. Effective as of now, this journal will contain short stories of varying levels of quality. Most will probably be tripe. I've written a cron script to kick my butt if I don't have an idea by Wednesday or haven't posted a story by Saturday.
Ultimately, this dooms me, but what doesn't kill me can only make me use my time a bit better, neh?